The lengths I go to convince others that this trip is a "smart" idea are starting to get ridiculous, almost comical. Honestly, the only person I should have to convince is myself, but predictably, this is hardly the case and it continues to be a constant reminder that my own decisions are never fully all my own. Everyone else wants a say, everyone else has an opinion, and I, being basically the most indecisive person in the world, always rely on others for their opinion on my life choices--which in the end, just makes my decision more difficult and somehow I always end up doing what I want to do anyways. My dad is the main skeptic ... there are a few others, but he is the main man that needs convincing on the merits of my adventure abroad.
A few nights ago, I was having a conversation with my father about my trip, and basically broke the news that I was really going. It wasn't just hearsay or my typical idealistic and unrealistic goals for the future, it was an actual reality. I'm not gonna lie, he freaked. His response was the archetypal paternal response that I expected--"No, you can't go, you have to stay and get a job." After a few minutes of arguing and trying my hardest to stay calm, I found myself throwing a hung up cell phone on my bed and in the exact place I predicted myself to be when I broke the news. Perhaps it's my fault, I should have kept him more informed before I bought my ticket. It's just hard to discuss something with someone if their automatic response to just about everything is always, "NO." I knew in my heart that I was going to go, and somewhat believed that being almost twenty-six would grant me the right to make my own decisions. I suppose he thinks I sometimes make the wrong ones. Sometimes I do, a few occasions in particular that I can admit to and make me shudder. I understand his concern and appreciate it, but I know there are some things about me he just doesn't understand; I sometimes view life differently than he does, and even my sisters (whom he always compares me too when he thinks I'm making a hasty decision). I don't want my life to be solely about getting a job. I love writing and I love the career that I have started for myself; I know I have hardly breached the surface, but I don't think going on this trip will set me back, rather catapult my career to something better, albeit unknown to me now.
I know I don't have everything figured out and my future is unknown, but to me, that is the beauty of this trip. There's this quote I really like by some Israeli Philosopher that goes something like this, "All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware." I love this element of fate that comes with traveling and I have no reservations on the fact that you give yourself over to it when you go on a trip like this. As cheesy as I know it sounds, you kind of just have to surrender to it. The spontaneity and the freedom that comes with it are the reasons why I love to travel. I can't wait to feel like that again, it's been too long.
I just went off on a really long tangent. Basically, to convince my extremely stubborn, albeit love-able, dad that this trips is an amazing opportunity for me, I've made a Power Point slide show that exemplifies the different points on why this trip is an AMAZING idea. It might be the dorkiest thing I have ever done in my entire life. Well, that's a lie; it's definitely not the dorkiest if you include my formative middle-school years. Needless to say, those were not the best of times. I even went as far as to ask friends of mine and Denny's to write testimonials on Denny's character (which is fabulous, by the way) and why he would make a good travel partner for me. It's ridiculous, laughable really, to see the lengths I went on to show my dad that I am a responsible adult. Will a Power Point presentation really show him that? No. No it won't, but it couldn't hurt. Really, what do I have to lose, other than my dignity? I mean, I'm pretty sure I lost that at a frat party in college ... therefore I have nothing to lose.
Hopefully these naysayers in my life will give me their blessing (namely, my dad). I have a feeling they will, especially after they see this Power Point presentation. After all, who can resist cheesy travel quotes and photos of sunsets and epic views from far off destinations--all of which are obviously included in my slide show.
