I'm broke. If I had wooden pennies, I'd go to the beaver store to buy some crap. Really, that's how broke I am. Ok, so I have something I like to call a "get me to Asia fund," which most people would call a "savings" account; under no circumstance am I allowed to touch it. So I guess, I'm not technically broke, but I don't have any money to spend, so I am. On my search through the world wide web to make a quick dime, I perused the usual job sites, you know, Craigslist, journalismjobs.com, etc. and I happened to stumble upon some seriously ridiculous jobs, one in particular: Cake Farting. Yes, you heard me correct. Farting on cakes to curb some sort of sordid, not to mention perverted, fantasy of blowing out candles with your ass, instead of your mouth.
The subject of the post was way too hilarious not to click on: "Needed: Women to CakeFart for a Website (Handsome Pay)"
How could you not click on that, seriously? And the contents are even better:
"I am looking for sexy women 18+ to audition for a role in cake-farting for a website. This is NOT A JOKE. The audition includes attempts to put out candles in the ANAL instead of ORAL method. The model who farts the longest or creates the rankest, most lingering smell would get paid handsomely. Extraordinary talent such as if you manage to set the cake on fire with your gas are a major factor in hiring decisions."
Apparently, it's not a joke. Also, the longer and ranker the farts, the better. If you can set a cake on fire with your disgusting ass breath, then madame you could be the lucky winner of one thousand dollars. A thousand dollars for being the best cake farter?! Who thinks of this shit, seriously? Who really thinks, wow, it would really turn me on if I could watch a hot chic sit on a cake and then blow a smelly butt bugle all over that sweet thing until the candles blow out! Flatulence is HOT. What is the world coming to? I think cake farts, will soon be the end of man (and woman) kind as we know it.
